To Live in a World...

        I would like to live in a world without royalties, without domestic disputes, without the insistence on locking your car, without divided cities, without foreign atm fees, without small illuminated screens and without so many important things left unsaid. We're all in the same boat. That same boat, in fact, has a hole punctured in the bottom of it, and we're sinking slowly. Does anyone else feel this too? Sorrow comes for certain pains, while other times it's just plain depressing because it feels like we're steadily getting worse. Like someone with lung cancer told they must stop smoking, but we continue to smoke and say "i'll live my own life". I'd like to think i've turned a new leaf on some of my previous harsh judgements and accusations. Now i'm legitimately concerned.

Some of this may come across as naive, and I apologize, for I still consider myself a child when it comes to this world. I'm stretching my arms out and wiping my eyes to adjust to each new light. Sometimes I can't always adjust though. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable. I get frustrated. Just because a certain system is in operation does not mean that it is "working", and the best way to do something isn't always just echoing what we've done previously. We work from what we know, fair enough, but we know very little. We hold extremely tight to our possessions...why? It's as if we all paid a visit to someone at the beginning of our lives that told us to "hold tight to our belongings, it's a matter or life and death". People do steal things, it's true. I lock my car, I lock my apartment, and I feel right in doing it. I spoke with a musician the other night who explained to me how vitally important it is to trademark and copyright your music so that someone doesn't grab it and claim it as their own. He said he learned the hard way and he has learned a lot ever since making music and sharing it. Why can't we simply create? Why can't we simply live?

The ole mighty dollar plays its part. It shouldn't have the control that we give it, but here we are, and the boat keeps sinking. Some people spend most of their days just perusing the web and various databases, searching for information or products or currency they can take as their own. There are hackers, tech, nerds, and so on that use codes and tricks to obtain other people's info to steal their identity. We withhold information and/or fabricate details for our own benefit all the time. We are eager to get the most out of everything, for our own pure gain, and often times at the expense of someone else. It's more than a shame, it's sickening. I commend a person that has worked extremely hard to get to the point that they have, but still, that doesn't negate the fact that the system is lopsided and in need of correction. The next time someone asks you if you can spare some change, think of them asking you if you want to see the world change. If so, then you have something to spare, if not, then I guess there's no problem with holding on to what we feel we've earned.

Keys and locks and passwords and safes aren't going to save us. We have become so protective to the point that we lock ourselves up into a number of beliefs and stereotypes that don't promote world growth. We judge poor people for taking the money given to them and spending it on liquor or weed, but how is it any better for someone that has excess to spend money on the exact same thing? What because they have money to get healthy food from the organic store and get a little high on the side, that's not a problem because they're balanced? Is that it? How messed up is that? Seriously. We scrutinize the wrong people far too often. I believe we could all be a little better off if we were taken down a peg, if we had a little less, maybe forced to re-evaluate how we live. Part of the separation comes when we make strong distinctions or call things black and white.

Family life isn't great for everyone. Some people deal with a world of pain every day they come home, walk through the door, and put up with more than they ever should have to. Sometimes it turns violent, either physically or verbally, and sometimes it's just emotional pain. There's rarely a rhyme or reason to it, just what they've had to deal with their entire lives, and others don't think much of it unless it interrupts their evening dinner. We are separated by our homes, our cubicles, our apartments, our cars, our lines, our first class, our phones and so on. Each thing plays a part in us taking one more step back from the rest of the world, which we believe in doing so will help keep us a little safer and maybe help us to live more efficient lives. The definition of efficient is "achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense". What is it would you say might be at the expense of having computer kiosks or electronic cashiers? Well, not only does it take away a certain number of jobs from the general public, but it also helps us to avoid human interaction, and in doing so removes one of the most precious things we have. I'm not joking, human interaction and connection is one of the most beautiful gifts we've been given. It doesn't appear to be that devastating to anyone. I honestly can't say such a blanket statement, but this is coming from a lot of built up frustration.

I'm afraid and angry at our current state, and after seeing our 'strides' for the future, it doesn't look like it's getting much better. But I do believe in growth, and unity, and I believe that through each small action on our part we can make a difference. Things are not as they should be but what a beautiful thing it would be to live in a way we truly believe is our purpose. Live in a way where we are not closed off from the world, where we confront issues at hand, where we take part in society, where we find joy beyond possessions, where we acknowledge the world around us and the responsibility we have in it. I believe we have been given so much potential. I hope and pray we will use it for good, because things have gotten out of hand.

Born to be Wild

           Hello, I bet you've wondered where I've been, or perhaps you didn't notice I was gone...nevermind. A new life transition has taken place. A new order, a new way of doing things, and a very stark contrast to my previous living quarters. Previously, you see, I lived in a wofati, a hobbit hole of sorts, which resided not far from a stretch of shops and cafe's, the dwelling itself was nestled in a patch of woods. This was home for a year once I had returned from travels on the other side of the world in Australia, New Zealand, and South Korea. Life never felt the same afterwards. My year back home was filled with restlessness and questions. By the end of the year, I felt like I finally found a home with the Schroth family, but as is my nature, I hit the road and got on the move. This time, I remained in country, headed out to the west coast in my 'new' toyota corolla. This trip would prove to be another big step in my journey, and one that would be a turning point as far as my restlessness. I've found great freedom and joy on the road, never looking back since I left. Missing the friendships of course, but not questioning the trip, because i've already seen so much fruit from it. This instilled a confidence and a new stride in my walk.

Far from hunky dory all the time, no, there's been plenty of hiccups, but those come no matter where you are. It's the hippie lifestyle that people smirk at, that people talk about but with a voice that is distant, like they'll never get the chance to live so free. It's sad and strange in a way, because most people limit themselves so much in life, to an extent where the best they can muster is dreams. Dreams are great, but one of my favorite things is putting something into action, even (especially) when the outcome is unknown. I'm not saying i'm the best at it, no, I struggle to make things happen too. We spend too much time watching other people live or thinking about great styles of living for ourselves, that when it comes to actually making decisions, we freeze up like an old laptop that's on its last leg. Well, I love my old laptop that has lasted me all these years, but I certainly don't envy it.

It's the character of LA. It's the smell of Korean BBQ, contruction, weed, lattes, smog, and urine. The faces of the Filipino, the Mexican, the Hispanic, the Korean, the Native American, and even the occasional American. The ten minute regularity of the train coming to and from each station, always moving forward and taking people places. Everyone has somewhere to go, everyone has something to do, and the town operates day in and day out. People drink they're coffee, they're bubble milk tea, and eat a variety of foods to fill their stomachs and take on the day. They talk business, politics, social media, relationships, and weather just like people in another section of the world. We're all the same really, but each place has something to offer, it has character. I'm becoming more familiar with 'the character' of the world. Hardly an expert on worldy affairs or missiles or refugees, but i'm seeing things in person on a daily basis that I will never forget. Two young guys spitting raps to a homemade music track playing off one of their phones. Watching through the metal fire escape bars I see opportunity, and I see talent in everybody. The homeless population carrying all that baggage, searching for the smallest bit of shade while others of us soak up the incandescent lights. I feel hopeful and sick all at once.

This is not a bragging statement, simply truthful...I've come a long way. Through mountains, crossing rivers, highways, gravel roads, dessert, plains, and everything in between. I've experienced the midwest culture which I can't help but be completely intrigued by. Plain and simple, when you're out in the middle of nowhere and have got nothing to do, you turn to three things: Beer, guns, and church. Sometimes all of these things make up one afternoon. It's far beyond anything i've witnessed before, truly being out in open territory with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I could make judgements on their choices, but who's to say I wouldn't do the exact same thing if put in their position. Besides, the whole "judging people" thing completely contradicts my "we're all the same" statement. When on the road, you encounter many crossroads, and it's up to you to make a decision in that moment as to what direction you will head. My direction has been 'west!' for a while now, and i've settled in a new way that is hard to describe.

Maybe it's the people that were put in my way as I traveled. If I learned anything from my previous travels, it's that I don't want to plan another trip with just me, myself, and I. This time, my adventure took on a whole new complexion, and has involved others at each destination point. First off, my best friend Justin rode all the way out to Montana with me, which made the road trip more epic and memorable. He had to buy a ticket back to the east coast to make it back for his job starting up in the summer, but he had a perfect week-long window which we made the most of. I will never forget each state and the corresponding challenge given to us from friends back home. Old school mix cds, frequent dairy queen stops, and camping in the woods each night, now that's a road trip. Saying goodbye to Justin was sad, but now began the next chapter which I spent with my brother and his family. I had a niece and nephew i'd never met before for crying out loud. Taking a trip to see them was a no-brainer, and once again an experience I will never forget. I got to play with the kiddos. I got to know my brother's wife, Jenny, a lot better. And I got much closer with my brother, more than I could have imagined. It was pure bliss.

This is just a halfway point, or just a point, as if life fits into the timeline that we restrict it into. Did I mention the Montana scenery? Beautiful. Stunning. Amazing. Especially making your way southwest from Great Falls. The drive was hardly by myself as I had so much nature to accompany me along the way. Knocked out eighteen hours in a couple of days, sleeping in my car along the way, and arrived safely in North Hollywood where I would stay for the next week. This is where I met up with my next travel companions. My cousin and her roommate had flown in a few days earlier from Melbourne, Australia, and were ready to explore and live it up. I, of course, was looking to do the same, and we didn't have much trouble on that front. Ultimately, we made it up to San Francisco and all the way out to the Grand Canyon (which I had seen once before, but seriously, it's the grand canyon). We rocked up back in Los Angeles to drop my cousin's roommate off at the airport, and that's when reality set in. We didn't actually have a plan at this point. Or better put, I had only planned up to that point, and didn't really bother to go further. My cousin technically had a plan, as she was scheduled to do a semester at Stella Adler, the acting school in Hollywood. One week spent in a walmart in Burbank kept us on our feet financially and allowed us time to search both for living arrangements and jobs to afford the arrangements that we hadn't made yet.

           Despite the various so-called predicaments, one including my debit card being compromised and cancelled, it all just added to our adventure. Honestly, even in the moment, in the nights chilling in the parking lot, we experienced a joy because we had each other and we were writing our own stories. No longer living off of our mother's milk as it were, but working to get by and learning how to do with very little. It was, and remains to be, great. I'm lying on the floor of our new apartment, as we don't really have any furniture, and i'm enjoying the fan blowing in my direction on this hot summer night. In my sights are job opportunities, new locations to explore, and music venues. But it's hard to think far beyond this moment in time, what we call the present. Each day I wake up and meditate on how beautiful a new day can be if you're open to it. I'm open, i'm broken, and i'm expecting the unexpected. Welcome back.