Hibernation

A few brief pieces written during these cold winter mornings...

"Embers Soft Glow"

Winter cold. Crystal lake. 

Mood the same, in the wake.

Footsteps covered by fresh snow.

Fire fades out, embers soft glow.

Trudging through the once lush valley.

Tales of peace told, like ancient memories. 

Songs echo through makeshift cathedrals.

Chils up the spine, threading the needle.

Weaving together a blood-stained sweater.

Awaiting a flame, to truly know better.

Nice ideas don't make much a dwelling.

There's no business in what i'm selling.

Feelings float, fingers cold.

Waiting to fill, the creative mold.

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"White Fluffy Branches"

To walk. To travers, To see with your own two eyes the mystery

and simplicity fused together making a spectacle for audiences everywhere.

Arms stretching out like branches, awaiting blood to 

flow through the veins for comfort.

But instead, snow decided to fall which brought comfort with a new complexion. 

The branches coated with what i'd call that white fluffy stuff, or snow, 

but really it's a sort of answer to prayer.

To be in the midst of it all, only then might we see things for what they are.

The audience claps and critiques even though they don't

fully understand the gravity of this white fluffy stuff.

The complexity.

It's subtle whisperings reminding us not matter hard we try,

we are out of control.

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"Proton Pump Inhibitors"

Sometimes it is the invisible that have the most powerful effect on us.

A piece of the puzzle tucked away in our naivety and ignorance. 

An underlying cause we never quite considered.

A social gathering with pre-conceived notions going

into it will inevitably turn out how you expect.

But you experience can be separate from the substance itself.

Your believe system and ideas could be contributing to a form of malabsorption.

Where even the nutrients of healthy living are not supporting

your body because there is a blockage.

We've been taught to show caution and exercise beliefs from a young age,

but too of that in one direction of fear or bitterness can limit us to a

weak state of living.

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"Not Past Infant Stage"

Masticating and consuming what would best be described as baby formula.

Mash with no taste.

I viewed a futuristic sci-fi film where the humans

ate a gravy-like substance from four separate trays.

Mayby this is what it will come to.

Maybe we're already there.

Maybe we never actually get very far.

The words of caution from our parents don't fully absorb and

we wind up with insecure taste buds.

We don't bother to learn too much and consequently 

we steal lifestyles from our closest neighbor.

We work so hard to not "feel" things and tragically we can be successful.

But when there's no taste, no feel, life loses all substance.

It leaves you waddling and crawling around aimlessly, grabbing

and chewing anything you see because you don't know any better.

    

Control Nervosa

It's out of our control...

These words pierce through the most weighted measurements and yet don't satisfy our quench for the this substance of knowledge we abuse as power. The numbers of Pi go on into infinity, and still, we simplify it and use it in terms we can work with (3.14). This infinity not graspable, not obtained, not able to be bottled up and stored for the harsh winter months. As Col. Nathan R. Jessep yells at Lt. Daniel Kaffee in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!". These words might pierce just as the introduction statement tends to if you really stop to reflect upon it. Often times life brings us back to the theme of control. How much we strive for it and keep hitting a wall because we have so little. Control has the appearance of a delectable slice of aged gouda or wedge of brie, and it whispers through the hallways of our rat tunnels, offering a way out of the maze.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't believe in control. Scoffing at others' desperate attempts to hold on to any ounce would be purely hypocritical. Rarely do we access our fullest potential or even understand it unless put through a life-altering situation. The truth is that one could not say with certainty how they would respond to an event if only looking from the outside. Human beings are far too complex and we don't pay our minds enough credit. The layers within in the cranium each have a name and hold a purpose. At the base is our natural instinct which we possess as a means of basic survival. We are capable of full blown imaginations and creations and fantastical things, while at the same time being capable of destruction and violence. I don't believe we can separate the two, saying that some people are bound to be inventors and others are just criminals. No, that's getting off too easy. Each individual's mind has access to a PHD of knowledge with a bachelor's in chaos.

Knowledge and chaos can both be twisted into control, or at least used to create the simulation of control, when in fact the mark itself is never really met. We miss the mark quite often, but not because we have bad aim, it's because we're aiming at the wrong thing. We are focusing on the wrong thing. We hear the whispers of control and it guides us into unspeakable acts, ones of torture and humiliation and anger and revenge. After World War II, young German soldiers were forced by the Allies to remove their own landmines, in an epic display of "power". The various generals in charge went to great lengths to make the soldier's lives a living hell. Humans treating other humans as not human, and for what? The slightest ounce of control? Some skewed belief that we were put in this world to dominate and hold the greatest position? Or maybe we're just interested in a stable position.

In 1971 a Stanford psychologist performed an experiment which aimed to simulate the experience of prison life and how people respond to an institution. The experiment, known as the "The Stanford Prison Experiment", became famous after being shut down prematurely due to things getting out of hand. Twenty-four students were chosen, out of seventy applicants, and were told they would be paid a daily amount to participate in this two week long experiment. Half of them would assume the role as prisoner, while the other half would play the guards. The rules and guidelines were laid out from the beginning, to make sure no one got hurt and that everyone was on the same page, but quickly it became its own beast. The human potential showed its ugly side and unleashed a disturbing six days of chaos, with very little control. Each participant had their own angle with the project. Some of the kids playing guards got so into it that they abused the prisoners, and when pushed into a corner, the 'prisoners' fought back. These kids were thrown into a life-altering situation and the results that followed speak volumes on human nature. That's not to mention the psychologist behind the experiment who let the whole thing take place, even while it slowly got dark. The kids fought for their survival, for their stability, for power, and ultimately for control. Especially once they realized how little control and supervision they had, it escalated into a jungle.

I stated it before, but again, who's to say we wouldn't do the same thing if put in that situation? You can recognize the complexity of this question if it's turned toward your own personal experience. Have you ever been at ends with a co-worker? Have you been in a situation where you felt threatened? Maybe the doctor gave a heart crushing diagnosis. What did you do then? When put in a corner? When pushed to our limits? When faced with a world or an institution looming over us, how have we responded? Have we submitted to the so-called powers at be, or did we fight the system? Did we look to make a name for ourselves? Did we seek control within the confines of captivity? Life threw a curveball, but don't shoot the messenger.

The mark is what we aim for, but there must be an ultimate target. The whispers of control steady my bow. Outwardly i'm at peace unsheathing the bow from my quiver, while inside the soul shivers, and the destination of the bow remains a mystery. My quest for control has time and time again come back with negative results. The truth of the matter is truly something I can't understand. I can't face any words being given to me if i'm not even willing to listen. This life-altering state is the truest form of life itself, and if we can't handle that, we will continue to seek control and aim in the wrong direction. We are capable of so much. I desperately hope I can release myself from such corrupt belief, and embrace freely the truth that...

It's out of our control.